| I have wanted to get through some British novels including Jane Eyre & all of Jane Austen's works. I just finished listening to "Pride & Prejudice" on CD. My sister-in-law Ruth loves this book. She used to tell me that Nathan was Mr. Darcy. Although she tried to explain to me how, since I wasn't familiar with the story it never made total sense. Since then I have seen 2 movie versions of it and now have finished listening to it. Nate really is Mr. Darcy. What is funny is that I took one of those silly online quizzes awhile back that tells you which Jane Austen heroine you are. It concluded that I was Elizabeth Bennett, which, if you know the story, you know hooks up with Mr. Darcy. As much as I would like to be Lizzy, I think I am not; at least not totally. She is a much more positive person than I. For instance, the other day I was thinking about this. I never... - Will be able to read all the good books out there.
- Will have time to see all the movies I'd like to.
- Will make and bake all the yummy recipes I see.
- Will visit all the cool places in this world.
- Will be able to do all the fun projects ideas that are swimming around in my head.
- Will have the time to engage in all the hobbies that look interesting to me.
- Will look like Angelina Jolie.
- Will be rich.
- Will live in my dream home.
If I truly were Lizzy, my list would have looked a bit more like this: I am fortunate to... - Be able to read and lucky that I have read so much.
- Be able to see and hear and have enjoyed so many movies.
- Know how to cook and be able to make some pretty good food.
- Have visited many amazing places in the United States.
- Be creative enough that I have ideas and have been able to complete some.
- Have gotten pretty good at a few hobbies instead of just dabbling in many.
- Have a body that works. I have use of all my limbs and senses.
- Have enough. Really. We aren't hungry and we aren't naked.
- I have my own house, we fit, and I have a yard.
I have a confession that was going to be its own post, but fits nicely here. When I came back from San Diego last month I just wanted space from my kids. We had a wonderful time, but there were enough of these moments that when I got home I just wanted to be totally alone for a day or so.
Instead I read your blogs. I was so ashamed and sad afterwards. I cried and felt awful about my own state of motherhood. You were all happily having outings with your kids, enjoying blissful moments and doing fun family projects. It is so easy to see why it seems like the grass is greener and everyone else's life is more exciting/easier/better. Blogs don't paint a picture of reality very well. No one wants to go around declaring their bad news (especially for the whole world o see). And truthfully no one wants to be around a Debbie Downer or Negative Nancy. I am sure there is a way to balance it all out and let the world get a glimpse of real life and not the (as I have heard it called) "Christmas card" version of life. The truth is we all feel better knowing that person we thought was so perfect isn't. Not because we want them to fail, but we want them to be human like us. So many of you have strengths that I can't imagine having. I am a terrible housekeeper. I would be embarrassed for many of you to see just how bad – I am the kind of girl whose lack of good cleaning might get talked about among better homemakers. But that is my weakness and your strength. That is my reality. My life is a little chaotic, but when I manage to take some time to organize it enough that I have a successful solo outing with my boys or we actually do a project together, I can't help but share my proud moment. And I just have to remember that when I read other blogs too. I have since recovered from my need to get away from my boys (and I never did get that much needed actual away time!). I still do look at blogs with envy though. Look at that pretty table or I so want that kitchen or look at how well behaved those kids are! Those thoughts probably will remain, but as long as I can remember my Lizzy list, I will be able to be much more grateful for the wonderful life that I get to have instead of just being jealous of yours. As for keeping it real? I sincerely hope that I am doing my part.
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